The Law of the Playground
the pupil report of
Matthew Hannah
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The name of an unfortunate young man, whose parents must have been thinking in one of two ways;
- Let's distract everyone from the surname. Let's give him forenames so preposterously poncey that by the time people have got around to saying the surname, they'll already be punching him.
- Fuck it, we're Gays. We were born to be bullied, bring it the fuck on.

approved Jul 15 2004, submitted Mar 29 2004 by Matthew Hannah
Plagued by rumours of an illicit affair with the rowing coach, this fat sod extraordinaire had in fact taken offence at being called "soft" (which he was, in great quantities) and successfully petitioned to get his rowing coach fired.

This resulted in the increase of the frequency and vehemence with which "SOFT COCK!" was screamed in his flabby face.

"Hard" for your rowing coach or a big soft poof to your peers? What a fantastic Catch-22.
approved Jan 8 2004, submitted Jan 3 2004 by Matthew Hannah